Finding Strength in Brokenness- Entry No. 1

My Story of Being Scammed

How will I ever get back up? The world seemed crashing down as reality set in that I was indeed, scammed.

Admittedly, recollecting one of the memories of previous unfortunate ventures finding employment is not entirely easy. It was two years after graduating college and I was still a volunteer; I was happy with where I was at that time until I found myself trapped in frustration due to the words my colleague had said:

” No wonder you don’t have a paid job, since you spend all of your time being a volunteer and not looking for other opportunities.”

Questioning my life decisions again and again 😦

It dawned on me that almost all of my classmates had secured jobs locally and even abroad. That day, I spent the whole night browsing through the world wide web submitting my application to several employers from various countries.

Waking up the next day, I could not believe that I received a job offer from Saint Lucia in the Caribbeans which detailed the work conditions and benefits such were a high paying salary and the ability to become a resident in that beautiful country. I had both my parents reread the e-mail and while mom was jumping for joy for my supposed success, while dad was sceptical with some of the conditions laid in that offer.

Thereafter, I quit my volunteer work, and was preparing to take an examination as required by the employer. Again, dad voiced his concerns why I needed do to an exam which was not entirely related to my occupation; however, mom was on my side and she persisted that it appeared to be legitimate need when I was able to clarify those questions with the ’employer’ over the phone a couple of times.

It was twenty days after my exam and I was excited to see the results, expecting to tick all the boxes and start packing my luggage to the Caribbeans. Yet, it was really a mirage that I chased after. The testing centre messaged me that no fee was paid and that I was going to be blacklisted from taking any exams in their system due to dishonesty, unless I settle the required amount of 600 US dollars.

I was shocked, angry and frustrated. the money I transferred to that hoax employer’s bank account was my parent’s hard-earned money. Alas, the shame I had to face my parents as I explain the swindler’s scheme, and the pain of asking another 600 US dollars to pay the test centre to release my results. Countless attempts to the impostor resulted to nothing. I ended up feeling like I was nothing.

Various thoughts came rushing into my mind: “Why did you not listen to your father?” “Did you seek the Lord in those decisions?” “So what are you going to do now?” “You will always be a failure, you failed again..”

Falling on My Knees

The great physician has fixed your heart and my heart but I find it interesting that sometimes we allow the voice of the enemy to whisper louder than the voice of Our Father. . .” – Danny Gokey

It was a constant battle of not entertaining the negative thoughts in my mind days after knowing I was scammed, and I felt the guilt of knowing that I did not respond to God’s warnings throughout that time. Despite feeling uncertain and not at peace with contract’s entity, I had let my naive self respond halfheartedly, drifting into the shores of trickery.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those who spirits are crushed. -Psalm 34:18

I let go of my pride and fell on my knees. I thank the Lord that His love has surrounded me those times. It felt as if the anguish will never end, I did not know how to face that failure and God embraced me, reminding me that things will be alright. I realised how I acted in impulsiveness and did not spend time praying for that offer. I was far away from God, with a wrong motive of proving people wrong, consequently hurting my own self in the end.

This was a pivotal moment in my life which drew me closer to the Lord. It was when I found that even in my defeat, He can use the bits and pieces of what was before and show me that a masterpiece can still be created.

What seemed to be a dead-end at that point was another beginning. Reading more about God’s words, reflecting on the life of Joseph the dreamer, who was sold to slavery, framed for an act he has not done and ending up in jail. Despite of those trials, he thrived in His faith, and did not give up, and the setbacks in his life prepared him to be promoted by Pharaoh as second-in-command in Egypt.

When you look back at your life, look forward, have no regrets and know, that through all the mistakes and setbacks you experienced, God isn’t finished with you yet. – Carniel Dunlop

Yes, I failed but it did not mean I was a failure. I was accepted back where I did volunteer work after explaining my series of unfortunate events. It was not entirely clear where to go from there and it was a slow transition to regaining my confidence. I thank God for my family and friends who have supported and reminded me of the promises of God; the pangs of regret are momentary but God is patient, loving and forgiving. He is not done with me yet.

Here’s a song and its story which inspired me whilst writing this blog:

Continuing the Story

I hope to continue writing more stories which I have learned from in the hope that it can serve as an encouragement to those who are going through the roads of uncertainty and defeat.

In the process, I also desire to learn from your life experiences. How have you been able to deal and move on from difficulties in life?

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This cause was inspired by a young lad, Abner A. Ibag, who has passed away after 18 precious years of existence. He has left a legacy of positivity and have become an inspiration to his family circle, friends and his acquaintances; a beaming beacon who has shared selfless acts of kindness, emanating an aura of joy with a contagious spirit of bringing smiles and laughter. Continuing this feat, from a period of hiatus, I aspire to continue sharing a heart of caring through social media- with stories and encouraging updates, and connecting people with the same mindset. Everyday stresses may become overwhelming, but know that you are not alone going through this. Would you like to join us? Feel free to send us your messages, inquiries and suggestions. Let's brighten up the world. Keep smiling!

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