I love you, but. . .

I was reminded of a song that spoke to me before, particularly with the lyrics :”It’s not about your scars. It’s all about your heart.”

While some people would see this in a romantic context, I felt the words of the Lord resonating as this song lull me to sleep last night:

Psalm 34:18
The Lord is near to the broken-hearted
And saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Romans 5:8
But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

I was reflecting how I respond to the people close to me. I know there were situations where I feel hurt because some have not been honest in the past. I felt like I was torn apart due to my expectations of who they were.

How can I not forgive, if God forgave me? Looking at myself, I know that I have not been that honest with the Lord through my lifetime; and despite that, God forgives.

I knew the Lord wanted me to learn how to really love- beyond the superficial. He saw past who I was and I had a chance to do things better. I was unfair feeling that those who have hurt me needed to feel their remorse longer. Even how many times they reached out, I stubbornly choose to distance myself and held to my pride.

From memory, my parents would tell me, “Go and say sorry, it never hurts to say sorry.” I apologize for not forgiving you before, dear friend. It cost us several years, which should have been times when we could have spent strengthening the bonds of our friendship.

I was finally free from my cage of bitterness when I forgave. Before, I would think about the phrase, ” I love you but…” It took me time, I know, to see that genuine love means no conditions but acceptance. We move on from holding on to our grudges towards building and restoring broken bridges of lost relationships.

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