“Think about it, like a runner; you also need to rest. You may continue to force yourself to run, not allowing yourself to take a break; and without knowing it, your body will just give in. You’ll end up broken and not capable of running anymore.”
The counsellor’s words pierced right through, exposing the things which I tried to mask for quite so long. It was a hard truth to swallow, a reality that I decided to deny for some time- I was always critical on my self, impatient and was not making sure that I took care of my mental and emotional well-being.
That afternoon, speaking with a counsellor on the phone, was honestly one of the best conversations I had that provided me clarity. He emphasized the fact that taking a break or stepping back from a stressful situation for a while will give the person the capability to continue again; similar to a runner, being able to recuperate from running again.
I could not keep it in already, and I knew that a part of the solution was to ask for help. My mind was clouded with all the things I can do, yet lacked foresight. I was not thinking of the consequences it could bring about because I just wanted to escape. Having supportive family and friends have kept me sane all this time, and I will always be grateful for having them who are just a phone call away.
Empathize with yourself.
One of the essential takeaways from that phone discussion was on self-care. The counsellor told me to congratulate myself for identifying the need for help. Previous times, I felt stressed about so many things. “I wish I could have done better,” was the phrase repeatedly in my mind. It was a toxic attitude of being self-critical, and it was eating away the energy and joy I had.
Before reaching that breaking point, I am grateful for those who have made me realize the significance of pausing and stepping back to think about what matters in life. I was primarily responsible for making sure that I was alright and not shift the blame to other people.
So, reach out
Even if it’s a 2-minute or even hour-long conversation with a loved one, do it. Don’t reach that breaking point. Talk to someone before you do anything which you may regret. Proverbs 15:22 says, “Plans go wrong for lack of advice; many advisers bring success.” I believe that with the presence of friends and family, I was able to calm myself from being self-destructive.
Truthfully, I don’t know why I am posting this online, but I hope that even though my struggles, others can learn and be better. Please remember that you are not alone. Reach out before it’s too late.