“You need to start taking another medication for your heart… which can probably be long-term.”
I didn’t want to believe what the cardiologist said. I went back and forth with doctors for three years to find why I had recurrent chest pains and tachycardia (fast heart rate). I would get palpitations even at rest for no reason at all and have a rapid heartbeat. This recent cardiologist explains that this condition’s cause is not yet fully understood but assures me that it is not necessarily life-threatening.
I was not sure how I felt when he was explaining those to me. My mind flashed back to the first time I waited in the clinics sitting beside people older than me. A 70-year old lady asked me why I saw a cardiologist when I was just 27 years of age back then. I didn’t know, and up to this day, I am quite unsure how I ended up with this condition.
Nothing seemed right at that time. I just had an accident injuring my right wrist, causing me to not work for more than a month. I was living alone, far from family who I desperately missed. My stress levels were increasing each day, and frustration about my current situation became unsurmountable.
My family kept on calling me to see how I was. During one conversation with my father over the phone, I could not stop crying while expressing how I felt about my circumstance.
“Dad, the truth is….”
I have always been close to my family. Yet, I had some hesitation acknowledging that I was starting to show signs of depression. I entertained the negative thoughts that came, and sadness seemed to be a very comfortable space to dwell in that time.
“Don’t dwell on your feelings and the negativity. Would a heart condition stop you from moving forward? Remember the pieces of advice you give to other people? You need now to walk your talk,” dad replied.
“Pray, fast, and meditate on God’s word. Rest in God’s presence and give him your worries and your fears,” he added.
Back on my knees, I searched my heart and let the Lord unveil the things I was holding on to. At that moment, I felt a warm embrace surround me.
“It’s going to be okay… It’s going to be okay.” A still small voice soothed the chaos of my uncertainties. I knew God was reminding me to trust Him and let go of trying to take control of my circumstance.
A shift of mindset was what I needed- to focus on the good and choose to be thankful for the life I was given. So, I will keep on singing praise amid the storms of life and believe in God’s healing and guidance.
1 Peter 5: 6-8
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.